People are always asking me for some easy tips to have a successful relationship. I don’t know if anything is ever “easy” yet I’ve got some information that is certainly very straightforward to implement and very logical as well as intuitive. I’m sure it will make sense to you and hopefully you will choose to implement it.
As human beings, we are very sensitive to change, to transition. This is basically because of the way that our brain is wired. I’ve written before about our tripartite (three part) brain, but let me remind you. The oldest part of our brain, “reptilian” part, is about our physical survival.
And of course, change is considered quite dangerous to this part of our brain. Changes mean our lives could be at risk. This triggers our “fight or flight” response. The reptilian brain communicates its survival concerns to the limbic system, also known as the mammalian brain, which is the center of our emotions.
From here, we begin to confuse emotional survival with physical survival and take the issues in our relationships way too seriously, as if they really ARE life or death. The cerebral cortex, the logical part of the brain, the source of our intellect, brain makes sure that we entangle these aspects and generally sustains our conflicts.
So, what is one way to reduce the issues that come from transitions? We must first become CONSCIOUS and notice that there are four key times during each day that we interact with our partner. They are:
1. Waking up.
2. Starting the day (leaving for work, taking care of the kids, etc.).
3. Returning home.
4. Bedtime.
Let’s look at them one at a time and see how this awareness can help create a successful relationship.
Waking up: How we choose to wake up (it really IS a choice) sets the tone for our entire day. Starting with a smile, a caress, some show of affection, wouldn’t that help both you AND your partner get off to the best start possible?
Starting the day: Again, this is the first “goodbye” of the day. How we leave our partner or how we are left is so critical. Affection and gratitude for our partner would really get us off on the right foot, wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps a suggestion of what the return home might have to offer?
Returning home: While sharing your day with your partner can be an enjoyable and bonding ritual, you might first want to take a moment to reconnect. For some, this might be with physical gesture. For some this might involve a few kind and loving words. I encourage you to create your own “welcome home” ritual with your partner.
Bedtime: Whether you have an amorous evening or simply a cozy one (or both), remember how you end the night will lay the groundwork for how the next day will begin. I recommend that you each take a moment to express your gratitude for having each other in your lives. And, you can be specific about what you appreciate about your partner on THIS particular day.
There you have it, the four key interactions that will help you to have a successful relationship. Practice them for a week or two and be prepared for an amazing transformation. And please, let me know what your experiences are with this concept. Comment on this post and please forward this post to anyone who you feel might benefit from it.
Thank you so much,
Dr. Adam Sheck
If you’re interested in more of my thoughts about relationships and creating passion and purpose, please download my Free Special Reports, “20 Rituals For Romance!” and “The Secret To Owning Your Mission!” by subscribing to the Passion Doctor Newsletter at the top of this page.
