Bring Back The Passion
How I Work With Couples To Improve Their Relationship
Are you a couple who wants more intimacy, more romance, more sexuality, more PASSION?
I work with couples who may have had thoughts or conversations like these. Any of this sound familiar?
“We used to talk for hours. Now we don’t share much of anything. I’m so lonely. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend! What happened to the person I fell in love with?”
“Our sex life is dull and routine. We do the same thing, the same way. I feel like a robot, stuck in a loop, with no feeling, no passion!”
“She’s so critical, she never seems satisfied or happy with me. No matter how much I do, it’s never enough. I’m never enough. ”
“He was so romantic when we first dated. We’d kiss for hours. Now he never compliments me and he only kisses me or is affectionate when he wants to have sex. He takes me for granted. I feel so empty!”
“She withholds sex and uses it to manipulate me and as a bargaining chip. She only wants me for what I can do for her or buy for her. I feel totally used and impotent.”
“He’s a good man, but I don’t feel it anymore. I love him, but I’m not ‘in love’ with him. How long can I go on like this?”
If you are serious about changing and improving your relationship, please keep reading.
Would you like to accomplish any or all of this?
You want to connect again with your partner! You would like to share with each other on a deep, loving, meaningful level. You would like to feel heard and understood. You would like to be more compassionate and empathic with them and they with you.
You would like a more passionate, exciting sex life with your partner! You want to spontaneously express your feelings towards your partner through your lovemaking.
You want to feel good about yourself and your relationship again! You’d like to know your needs, share them with your partner and together help each other to meet those needs! You want to respect and cherish each other and treat each other and your relationship with deep caring and nurturing.
You would like to recapture the playfulness, the innocence, the pure joy of being together that you once had! You want to tap into and recreate those wonderful, idyllic moments you once shared and have them available to you again!
You want to reignite the passion of your relationship! You want to learn to remove the baggage that has weighed you down and lift yourselves into a new romance, a new love, a new depth that you have always wanted and you will be able to sustain.
This is what my couples have told me that they want as a result of working with me.
And all of this is possible with the proper information, tools, coaching and support. It requires the commitment and willingness to take consistent action in order to have the relationship of your dreams!
I’m Dr. Adam Sheck, known as the Passion Doctor. As a Clinical Psychologist, Couples Counselor and Sex Therapist, I’ve worked for over 25 years supporting singles, couples and non-traditional relationships to have the best relationship possible.
With over 20,000 client hours under my belt, there’s little that I haven’t seen and there’s a good chance that I can help you as well.
If you were able to achieve and sustain the relationship you desire on your own, you already would have.
We can all benefit from expert support and coaching. Working with me may be exactly what you require.
What you can expect from working with me
If you choose to work with me, you will begin to see your relationship in a whole new way. It might blow your mind to discover a different paradigm of relationship. As we work together, you will begin to understand:
1. The Psychology of Attraction: how biochemistry and our unconscious motivations influence how we choose our partners and what we are truly seeking in relationship.
2. The stages of relationship: the three stages a relationship progresses through and where you might be stuck.
3. Your relationship blueprint: the inner template that guides your relationship and how it interacts with your partner’s blueprint. Learn how your patterns play themselve out, over and over (and over)!
4. The “fight or flight” reaction: how you and your partner trigger each other’s physiological responses in a heartbeat, before you’re even aware of it.
5. The role of conflict in relationship: we have been conditioned to believe that conflict always negative. News Flash: you may learn to use conflict consciously to navigate into deeper connection and intimacy.
Of course, understanding is not usually enough to create change. If you are committed and willing to do the work, you will take these learnings and insights and use them to:
1. Wake up from an unconscious relationship, running on “cruise control” and create a more conscious, intentional relationship.
2. Create deeper levels of safety, vulnerability and emotional intimacy.
3. Communicate so that you will feel heard and understood — and so will your partner!
4. Transform anger, frustration and passive aggressive behavior into a connection where each of your needs can be met.
5. Reignite your romantic spark and create more passion: emotionally, physically and sexually.
This is what working with me will be like:
You’ll learn skills, tools and exercises to help your relationship. My ultimate task is to put myself out of a job. I want you to be able to be responsible for your relationship and have the skills to make it the best it can possibly be.
I’ll expect you to practice between sessions. The majority of the work takes place between our sessions. The results you receive will be in direct proportion to the work you put into this process. I’m committed to doing everything in my power to help you in your relationship. I expect the same from you.
I’ll shoot straight with you. I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I’m not afraid to take charge of our sessions. I won’t collude with you in the sustaining the unhealthy parts of your relationship. I’ll hold you accountable for creating the relationship vision that you desire so strongly to create.
I’ll help “translate” between you and your partner. This is something I’ve had a great deal of practice at, and I’m really good at it. I can speak your language, whether intellectual or emotional, whether masculine or feminine, whether verbal or non-verbal. It’s one of my greatest gifts as a couples’ therapist.
My job is to keep you emotionally safe and secure while you do the work. I take that very seriously. Couples are generally not very comfortable with the process of beginning couples work. They are airing all of their issues in front of a total stranger. There can be a lot of finger pointing and blaming, criticizing and condemning. I don’t allow that. We’ll create a space where you can be honest AND kind and loving. Developing intimacy requires the freedom to be open and vulnerable, which requires safety.
We’ll laugh and have fun. This is serious work, and needs to be balanced with a sense of humor. I’m professional, yet relaxed and easy-going. I’m flexible, creative and out-of-the-box. I’ll do my best to set you at ease and have you be as comfortable as you can be through this challenging, yet rewarding process.
What is the structure for working together?
This is what our coaching relationship will look like:
I work with couples typically from three to six months. We will determine this initial time frame during our complimentary consultation. After that time period, we will reassess and determine the value of an additional series of sessions. Alternatively, we may decide to complete our work and schedule “tune up” sessions periodically or as needed.
We will meet by Videoconference, Telephone or in person if you are in the Los Angeles area. Typically we will have two sessions/month, although we may choose to ‘front load’ with more frequent sessions initially as agreed upon. Session length is generally 50-60 minutes.
You will engage with each other during the bulk of our sessions together. I will provide a safe environment, feedback, “translation”, tools and coaching, yet the work is truly between the partners, not me.
You will learn valuable relationship tools and be expected to practice them between sessions. The results you desire are contingent upon your commitment to using the tools and working through your issues together. Action is required!
Our work will be custom designed for your particular relationship and situation. This is not a “cookie-cutter” program, although there will be some core relationship concepts that will be taught and experienced.
You will have access to me by email and telephone between sessions for quick clarification or feedback as needed.
Note: I have a strict “no secrets” policy in my work with couples. I will notify your partner of any contact between sessions and copy them on any email responses.
How will you know if working with me is a good fit?
Working with me might be right for you if:
1. You are committed to your partner and to improving your relationship and reawakening the intimacy and passion. Of course, if you are not certain that you want to remain in your relationship, we may work together to come to an inner knowing and act from that place.
2. You are open-minded and curious about yourself, your partner and your relationship. You have an intention to learn and to grow. You are open to perspectives that may challenge your own.
3. You are open to being coached. You can acknowledge that at this stage in your relationship, if you could improve it on your own, you already would have done so. You don’t have to always agree with me, yet can you give me and my 25+ years of experience the benefit of the doubt? Your way hasn’t worked out so well. Can you be open to experimenting with my way for three to six months?
4. You are willing to accept direction and take action that may feel uncomfortable. You are willing to accept short-term discomfort for long-term results. Be assured, I won’t ask you to do anything that violates your personal values and ethics.
5. You are ready to be fully honest with yourself, your partner and with me. Without that honesty, I guarantee you that working with me will not improve your relationship.
6. You are willing to take 100%, full responsibility for yourself in your relationship. You are willing to look at your contribution to the relationship issues. You are ready to stop finger-pointing and playing the “blame game” with your partner.
7. You are committed to being consistent, reliable, dependable and accountable to yourself, your partner and to me during our work together. You will attend all sessions (there will be no session held if you are not both present) and will do the assignments to the best of your ability.
8. You have the courage and willingness to face your fears, your discomfort and the “not knowing” that arises during our work. This is the biggest and most challenging requisite in committing to couples work.
The bottom line though, is that you can’t truly know if this Program is right for your relationship until we talk. We must connect first to assess whether it is a good fit for all three of us.