Is Being Submissive The Secret To A Successful Marriage?

In a recent interview promoting her new book, volleyball star Gabby Reece stated that one of the big secrets to her successful 17 year marriage to surfer Laird Hamilton was to adopt a more traditional, feminine role.

Her exact quote is:

“to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and –- look out, here it comes –- submissive.”

She also stated that:

“I think the language that men understand and they receive — is through food and through sex.”


In response, the Huffington Post put together a HuffPost Google Hangout video chat between myself and two couples to discuss the issues. You can watch the video above to listen to my key points including:

  • Submissive may work for you, but don’t push it on everyone else as THE WAY!
  • While food and sex are great, I’m hoping that some men have evolved to actually want connection and intimacy in their relationships as well.
  • Tall Girl Syndrome: extremely tall young women often suffer tremendous teasing and attacks on their self-esteem and femininity while growing up. Could this “submissive” posture be a compensatory behavior?
  • The value of role play and fantasy in sustaining passion in a relationship.

I hope that you enjoy the video and look forward to your thoughts and comments.

Dr. Adam Sheck

If you’re interested in more of my thoughts about relationships and creating passion and purpose, please subscribe to the Passion Doctor Newsletter at the top of this page.