5 Myths That Keep Men Stuck Part 3: Money and Power
Welcome to Part 3 of my five part series on the five “myths” or beliefs or perceptions about men that keep us stuck in our relationships and in our lives. They are stereotypes that keep us disempowered and prevent us from fully expressing who we are in the world.
You may review the series, beginning with Part 1 by Clicking Here.
In no particular order, the “Five Male Myths” are:
1. Men don’t like to communicate or share their feelings.
2. Men are afraid of commitment
3. Men’s top priorities are power, success and money.
4. Men are only attracted to looks and are only interested sex.
5. Men don’t want to be with or are intimidated by powerful/smart/successful partners.
Now let’s move on to the next myth.
MYTH #3: Men’s top priorities are power, success, and money.
This is a fairly pervasive belief system, that the top priority for a man is to have power, success and money! This is supported from a biological perspective, as power and success allow us to dominate our hierarchy and get the most fertile/attractive/appealing mates.
In addition, from a psychological perspective, the message that society gives us is that all good comes to men who are successful. From an early age, we are all conditioned in both blatant as well as in subliminal ways to crave success in either academics or in sports and then in career. The more we men can accumulate, the happier we will become or so the belief says.
While women have achieved society’s “blessing” to be a successful mother or a successful career woman or both, sadly the same is not true for men. Men are not rewarded for staying home and taking care of the kids. The “house husband” gets very little respect or acknowledgment.
In fact, men in general are punished for NOT being successful. In our society, men who “follow their passion” and follow more nontraditional or creative/artistic pursuits generally don’t generate as much success or as much income. Consequently, they don’t get into relationships with the more attractive/appealing females. They are penalized according to society’s standards.
Again, I’m not saying that this is conscious, but it is activated at the most basic biological level as well as from society’s structure of rewards. I’m not saying it is “good” or healthy or that I even like it, yet there is a structure set in motion that perpetuates the myth that men are in it for the power, the success, the money, the status.
If we look below the surface, all of this is a means to an end. As men, most of us truly DO want to bond with someone, we truly DO want connection and deep inner fulfillment.
Dr. Carl Jung was one of the great psychologists of the twentieth century and I have studied a great deal of his work as a way to help men. Jung believed that the first half of a man’s life should be dedicated to building a strong ego and a strong sense of self and creating a successful life in the material, outer world. This could occupy the first forty years of life.
At that point, a man might have sufficient “ego strength” to actually transcend his ego and begin to focus on his inner world. Without success and stability in the outer, it can be challenging to focus on the inner.
My belief then, is that men especially in the second half of life have the potential to make their inner life and their essential relationships the top priority. Money, power and success can still have their place, yet they are now a means to an end, not the end itself. They can be used to create and expand life and improve upon it for ourselves and those we care about.
If you’ve enjoyed this post on Myth 3, you may read Myth 4 by Clicking Here. Or, you may view my thoughts on all five of the myths that keep men stuck by downloading that Special Report, available immediately when you subscribe to my complimentary Passion Doctor Newsletter at the box at the upper right of this page.
Dr. Adam Sheck
P.S., If you are a man interested in exploring these types of issues and more, I facilitate monthly Men’s Support Groups by teleconference line. Please contact me for more information on the Men’s Group or my other services by Clicking Here!